I have always said I generally don't like people. Okay- let me actually rephrase that: I don't like people except for a select few. Or unless I'm drunk, then I like tons of people. Except for the few I still don't like, and I hate that for them because I am really a jerky bitch when I'm drunk. Okay, I'm flat out mean. But I am always pretty.
ALWAYS. Anyway, back on point.
I am an introvert. An ISTJ, to be exact. Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. I have taken the personality test based on the studies of Carl Jung and implemented by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers a bajillion times. I am always the same. ALWAYS. If predictable was an option, I would be 100% that, too. You can have several different outcomes from the following types: Introvert/Extrovert, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving. So you choose one out of each group and voila- you have a personality typing that is pretty self explanatory. To explain, most everyone knows what an Introvert v. Extrovert is; Sensing means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives directly from the external world and Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world; Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic and Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion; and finally Judging means that a person organizes all his life events and acts strictly according to his plans while Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and seek alternatives. I feel that the biggest one of these is the Introvert/Extrovert piece.
Why?
Well, I'm SO glad you asked..
Extroverts are energized by social situations and thirst to be around others. Introverts are the direct opposite. We aren't loners, we aren't depressed- we are simply drained by social situations and being around people and must be alone and have our personal time to recharge. We get weary being around too many people for too long and if we are forced to continue doing so, we will potentially have a melt down. And that is okay. Really- it is.
I like going out and hanging with people - I really do. However if I don't want to, I am not going to because I know if I do, I will walk right the fuck out of wherever I am in a blaze of bitchy glory and people will be confused and feel awkward. There's no need for that if I can prevent it. If I have been around work all day and involved with people during that time, I am done. Finished. No more. I want quiet and my cat and laptop and to just chill.
Now. The issue with all this. Man is an extrovert. An uber super duper extrovert. He LOVES parties and people and being out and around people and people and more people and ALL THE PEOPLE while talking to people. MariahByrd would rather die than make small talk about stupid shit. Would. Rather. Fucking. Die. Even if it's talking to people I know and like, it's just how it is - it wears me out. And THAT IS OKAY. Seriously- it is. It doesn't make me a freak or weird or rude or in need of psych help- it just makes me a straight up introvert. That is all. I'm not shy, I'm not anti-social. People just wear me the fuck out because I am MariahByrd and I am introverted as fuck. I work with people all day long, and I LOVE my job but after 6pm I am ready for some down time to revamp in order to functionally do it all over again the next day. I'll go to parties. I'll get rowdy. I'll talk to everyone. But all of this happens after I've been quiet and calm for a little bit or if I haven't had much social interaction that day. "But you seem so outspoken and sociable most of the time, MariahByrd." Exactly. Because again, I'm not shy. Because I'm a happy person. Because I've had time to gear up for this shit. I don't want to be in a hole all the time, but I'd pick a hole over a party 9 times out of 10... but Man would pick a party the 9 times I would pick the hole. It's hard for extroverts to understand why we don't want to go and have FUN. It's really quite simple: it's not FUN to us. It would be work- an effort we would have to put forth (or copious amounts of alcohol we would have to consume) to attempt to have a 'good time'. We are just different. We all like different colors, different songs, different types of food- this is just another thing to be different on.
And again, that is okay. It really, really is. Because if it is not allowed to be okay for me to stay home, I just might have to slap a bitch or go off the deep end and verbally rape someone.
Which is not okay (but might be fun).
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