There are very few things in life that I do well. Like - exceptionally, exceedingly, abundantly well. I'd say there are less than 5 things that fall into this category, tbh. One of the things would be cooking. However, it must be said that 'cooking' is very specific. I cannot make a pot roast or homemade stuffing or meatballs or anything of that sort. However I can cook the shit out of the following things:
1. Cakes. I can bake the FUCK out of a cake. I make a plum cake that is to die for. Seriously. For real. DIE.
2. Pasta. I have my own special pasta dish. It doesn't have a sweet-ass name or anything, but it is amazing and people drive for miles to ingest it. Literally. One of my besties has driven from her home in Chattanooga for this shit. It's fucking good.
3. Grilled Cheese Sammiches. I'm not talking about a slice of Kraft™ between some fucking Wonderbread™. I'm talking about some epic shit of epic proportions. My shit is good.
So since I don't really cook but for these three things, and Boyfrand doesn't really like pasta, my grilled cheeses are time consuming and usually costly, and I'm told you can't eat cake all the time... I eat out. A lot. I'm not talking about Ruby fucking Tuesday or Crapplebees, no. Gross. Gag. Ew. My favorite places are little hole in the wall joints that you probably don't want to look in the kitchen of if it's your first time there. Those and some classy-ass eateries, too. Therefore, this is an ongoing list of my favorites in both the Knoxville and Cookeville areas. Enjoy!
*Please keep in mind this list is ongoing. If you have a suggestion for me to try, feel free to shoot me an email. However I am not going to list something without eating there first. And if your tastes suck, don't bother.
KNOXVILLE
In an old Taco Bell building nestled on Magnolia Avenue, Chandler's is the home of the most amazing macaroni and cheese I've ever put in my mouth. Fried chicken and catfish, broccoli casserole, chitterlings and chicken livers... it is definitely a mecca for comforting soul food at a crazy cheap price- both Boyfrand and I can eat at Chandler's for about $16 total (including drinks, which you can have red KoolAid as an option... true story).
Harby's is the home of the 'Wedgie', which is essentially a pizza with no sauce made into a sandwich. It. Is. Amazing. They also have epic traditional pizza and kick-ass subs. There is a display cooler of homemade desserts of the Greek nature (baklava, for example) and normal variety such as cheesecake. A touch pricey for a deli (the 'veggie Wedgie' I get is usually around $10), but the portions are the reason for the $$.
As a long-time (and now failing) vegetarian, I always appreciate an establishment that is devoted to providing tasty meat-free options. The Tomato Head has been a favorite of mine for years (I always order an Oh Boy! on white, no chicken or bacon, sub baked tofu; regular potato chips, pl0x). They obviously have meat options, which I've heard are just as awesome, and if you're insane (aka vegan) they also have a shit ton of cardboard for you as well.
By now it is becoming clear that I like sammiches. A fucking lot. Nixon's is no exception. Their sandwiches are all steamed, unless you ask for them cold like a n00b, and therefore delicious. I always get a Cheese Delight (swiss/American/natural cheddar) and the one on Merchants Drive is the best. The owner's daughter, Lisa, knows my order by heart. She also knows I like mine with 'extra steam' (yeah, that's a condiment there) and doesn't complain about it burning her fingers too much. That says something, folks.
Full House
Squeezed into a tiny shopping center which also holds a Food City and Little Ceasar's, a former roommate and I found Full House when we were starving and in dire need of nourishment. It was just down from the apartment we had just rented and OH EM GEE- that shit was so cash. Rice noodles, good cream cheese wontons (crab rangoons, whatever) a KILLER chicken teryiaki and I have heard the General Tso's is also yummy. Complete hole in the wall and also a complete win.
Full House
Squeezed into a tiny shopping center which also holds a Food City and Little Ceasar's, a former roommate and I found Full House when we were starving and in dire need of nourishment. It was just down from the apartment we had just rented and OH EM GEE- that shit was so cash. Rice noodles, good cream cheese wontons (crab rangoons, whatever) a KILLER chicken teryiaki and I have heard the General Tso's is also yummy. Complete hole in the wall and also a complete win.
COOKEVILLE
Yes, I know it's a chain. Yes, it makes me think of Snooki. Yes, it is also fucking amazing. Something about the Jersey Mike's in Cookeville specifically is just BETTER than the others. There's one in Knoxville- I don't eat there. It's just not as good. And it's in West Knoxville, and you're judged for driving there if your car isn't clean. A #14 or #6 is what I get, depending on how froggy I'm feeling. Always sub American for provolone.
I have recently backslidden and now eat meat occasionally on a weekly basis. Rib City was where I fell. I wanted BBQ. As a vegetarian, you don't get good BBQ. You get good potato salad and slaw, that's it. I was over it, so I gorged on baby back ribs and BBQ sauce. Heavenly. I highly recommend getting a bowl of ranch and mixing some of the in-house sweet BBQ sauce in with it. Gross or god tier? You decide.
I love Chinese food. I love it even more when the place has cream cheese wontons. Crab rangoons, you say? I say what the fuck ever IT HAS CREAM CHEESE SO IT WINS. A Taste of China also has other shit I like to put in my mouth- their rice noodles and steamed dumplings are among my other favorites. You get a TTU student discount, too. However not on Sundays, because they are closed (much to my sadness when I'm hungover from Saturday night).
While not one of *my* all-time faves, El Tap is one of Boyfrands so it's included. I do like it- is inexpensive (another place for a TTU student discount) and they have girly drinks that come in 4 sizes: small, medium, large and fuck you. Kick ass fajitas and a lot of people love the chicken and rice bowl. If you ask nicely, they also give you green salsa (I know it's called salsa verde, fuckers- I just don't care).
Ralph's Donuts
I love donuts. And cupcakes. And cats... all the things. I have always been a big Dunkin' Donuts fan... then I had a Buttertwist from Ralph's. Oh-em-effin-gee. That shit is so cash. Seriously- is not too sweet, and the best donut I've ever had. And for a DOLLAR. ONE. SINGLE. DOLLAR. For something the size of my foot? Yes. Thanks. Then add in a cute soda shoppe type environment and boom- winning.
Algood Diner
Small place, kinda hole-in-the-wallish, but cheap and really good food. Amazing cheeseburgers and they have a retarded amount of choices for toppings- like 35 I think? You get a free drink if you're a TTU student as well. Service has always been decent, and the owners are relatively kickass. They also have sweet potato fries. And brown sugar. And mayo. If you don't know what that means, well maybe I should write a blog about that...
Ralph's Donuts
I love donuts. And cupcakes. And cats... all the things. I have always been a big Dunkin' Donuts fan... then I had a Buttertwist from Ralph's. Oh-em-effin-gee. That shit is so cash. Seriously- is not too sweet, and the best donut I've ever had. And for a DOLLAR. ONE. SINGLE. DOLLAR. For something the size of my foot? Yes. Thanks. Then add in a cute soda shoppe type environment and boom- winning.
Algood Diner
Small place, kinda hole-in-the-wallish, but cheap and really good food. Amazing cheeseburgers and they have a retarded amount of choices for toppings- like 35 I think? You get a free drink if you're a TTU student as well. Service has always been decent, and the owners are relatively kickass. They also have sweet potato fries. And brown sugar. And mayo. If you don't know what that means, well maybe I should write a blog about that...
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