God-fucking-damnit...

Our roommate just walked into our room to talk to us about shit we don't care about. I decided I would blog the entire time that she runs her mouth... standing in our doorway... eating her whatever it is she's shoving in her mouth. Let me preface by saying I hate this girl. I don't like her, I don't try to like her- fuck her. She has an annoying accent and is stupid as fuck. I might be coming down from a caffeine high from the 3 Dollar Store brand Excedrine I took, but fuck it. Fuck her. Fuck it. Fuck that Nutella shit she's eating I WANT IT. Seriously. The whole point of this is just to show everyone what a fucking retard she is. She is talking about a wedding she went to and got her shit thrown off the bed that she and her non-boyfriend boyfriend were going to share. I didn't want to hear that. 

Now I'm hearing about an entire weekend of 'drinking and hot tubbing'. Huh. I didn't know you could turn that into a verb. Or whatever it is. My grammar has even turned off listening to her stupid nasally voice go on about the 5 handles of 'various vodka, Jim Bean, white rum or whatever...' and she is taking too long to finish what she's saying, thus making it painfully obvious I am typing exactly what she's *trying* to say. However she just mentioned 30lbs of BBQ. OH GURL HOLD UP. Now I have my attenti- until you said "We RAPED that BBQ." Bitch. Why you gotta ruin something sacred like that?? SERIOUSLY. You suck. GET OUT OF MY DOORWAY. Even Murray is having trouble sleeping through this shit. 

And she's still standing here. Telling us about the $500 a night cabin that was all paid for. Blah blah blah money money money- yes, honey. Weddings cost money. AND SHE JUST SAID "I wish my family loved me that much." You have got to be kidding me. Maybe if you weren't a failure at life and didn't have ringworm, they would. JUST SAYIN'. 

Now we're talking about Mattra's new car. Which is an exciting thing, actually.  He bought a friend's 1993 Subaru Legacy- the Boobaru. And THANK YOU MATTRA FOR BRINGING ME INTO THE CONVERSATION. Asshole. I LOVE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE. 

She just walked away. Now I have to stop. Those were the rules I made, right? Fuck yeah. DONE.

PS: One last thing: if I hear the standard "DROOOOOOOOOOOOID" one more goddamn time, Imma CUT HER.