Straight Up Too Fucking Old

I went to a rave last night. By "I went to a rave" I mean I got completely shithoused and went to a housefull of kids about 8 years younger than me and acted a fool. I didn't even drink that much, but I did drink whiskey and Mickey's. I think that was my mistake. My huge, horrible, awful mistake. I honestly don't remember the last part of the night- and that NEVER happens. I also slept on the toilet for a while. Yes. On. Face first on the ass part. I don't even care at this point- I especially didn't then. With all that said, I don't even want to look at alcohol for a long fucking time. I didn't even MEAN to get to the point I did (which was sleeping on the bathroom floor at a friends place, btdubs) and I sure as fuck don't want to for a long time to come. 

Still... shit was kinda fun. Lemme break it down:

1. One of Boyfrands bff's (and a good friend of mine too) donned jorts, a pink polo with a popped collar, a shark tooth necklace, and Chacos- with white socks, for the party. We told everyone there he was 'special', or as Boyfrand said "Half a point from needing a helmet". Why? Because. I understand the un-PCness of that, but it was fucking hilarious. Especially when people were laughing at him and either Boyfrand and I said that wasn't cool, he didn't get out much and he just wanted to 'fit in'... and watched a lot of Jersey Shore so this is how he does it. I got 2 apologies out of that. Epic.

2. I realized I have good female friends here. These bitches didn't leave my side the entire time- when I was having fun, they were too. And when I wasn't having any more fun, they were still right with me. For example, one of the last things I remember doing is deciding to 'model walk'. The result:

Yeah. Mega winner right here.

My knee is legitimately swollen hardcore. Go. Me. *sigh*

3. Once I decided to sleep in the bathroom, Boyfriend did the same. That, my friends, is real fucking love. Although he said it was "Just in case you got sick. Or wanted to fuck.", I know his heart was in the right place. And the last part is why I love him anyway. 

So yes, I have been hungover all fucking day. It's almost 11:30pm and I still feel like warmed over ass, but I feel 10 times better than earlier. And although it wasn't 100% worth it... it was about 45% worth it. Which really isn't too terribly bad.

*Disclaimer: I don't think I'm still drunk. But I don't feel quite sober. I'll read this tomorrow and see how pathetic it really is and edit accordingly...